I’m about done with trailers.
Or at least too many of them.
I’m huge on comic book movies, I live for each bit of news I
can find on upcoming projects out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe or in sometimes,
even, every-now-and-then-but-begrudgingly, the DC Universe (I’ll get more into
that another time). Especially when the
news of a particular movie first comes out.
I dig it when some casting news or random image from the set is released
way before there’s a finished trailer. That’s
when its fresh and there are still questions on who will play who or whom or
whatever and what will the story actually be about and who will be the villain
and who will play the villain and how will it fit in with the rest of Marvel Cinematic
Universe?
(Okay, you may as well get used to it now, I have a huge
Marvel bias on both movies and comics so deal with it and if you can’t well…you
know…keep reading anyway)
Then the first trailer comes out and I am amazed (hopefully
but so far so good).
Then the second comes out and I am also amazed but just a
scoosh or two less than I was with the first trailer amazement. By the third, I am like “Okay, okay, let’s
just get the movie out, okay? Okay?” and I admonish myself for saying “Okay” too
much.
BUT THAT IS IT!
In a recent conversation with Leonard, who hosts the Weekly Longbox, a
podcast about comics (that I shall never
listen to but, again, that is a topic for another time), we talked about super-hero
movie trailers (which you can listen to
right here)
and he mentioned that he tries to avoid them because he likes to go
into the movie as “fresh as possible.”
Now assuming he’s talking about his knowledge of the picture and not
resolving a hygiene issue prior to seeing the movie, I totally agree and was
starting to feel the same way but hadn’t articulated it yet. So props to Leonard for being the enabler in
this situation.
Enough with the trailers, movie companies! I get the feeling I am going to see all of
the movie in 2-8 minute chunks (yes, there was an 8 MINUTE TRAILER for the Amazing
Spider-Man 2: The Wrath of Electro...or whatever they're calling it). Or even worse, love the trailer so much that
I become disappointed and/or disoriented when it is not used in the movie. That is probably a great way to give some air
time to frames that would only see the cutting room floor but it’s a tease for the viewer
or, at the very least but certainly not any less important, me. I get all excited to see on the big screen
that moment I had watched so many times on YouTube that my clicks alone
elevated the trailer to viral video status.
Then to not see that part throws me…but usually it’s in the car
on the way home after the movie. I’ll be driving along, thinking about how
kick-ass that movie was and then it will hit me. “Hey, where was that part I saw in the trailer?”
My mind will falter.
I will wonder if I missed the part altogether. Was it when I had to go to the bathroom, damn
the super-size drink for just a quarter more?
No, the scene wouldn’t fit from when I left to use the aforementioned
potty to when I got back which was exactly 1 minute and 32 seconds and why I
know that is of absolutely no relevance to the story thus it shall be
stricken from the record. You, the
reader, shall disregard that last sentence and shall not use it in judgment of this blog or any future blogs from this author that you may or may not read. Bailiff, beat each one senseless with the billy
club you stole from Daredevil.
Back to the missing trailer: Did I doze off during the movie? Certainly that has happened in the past but
generally that is when I'm seeing movies with my two lovely daughters. I see pretty much all of the animated movies that come
out and there are times when I have done some heavy head bobbing because the
plot point where the turkey goes back in time only has so much interest contained in an already little body that I have no choice but to have a mental and
physical shut down.
And let’s face it. At
my age, any time I can sneak in a nap, even for ten minutes, is pure awesome.
In general, however, I just get tired of the overabundance
of trailers with all these super-hero movies.
To be honest, if it’s happening in trailers for other movie genres, I don't know. They just don’t get my attention as much as super-hero movies so I cannot make inclusive my thoughts on trailers that are not of the non-super-hero genre. The romance/general action/western/sci-fi/romantic comedy trailers may have just as many trailers as the super-hero ones. Certainly you can count on at least two if that movie gets nominated for and/or wins an Oscar, but I just don't know as I don't pay attention to them although maybe I should since I'm devoting my debut post under this blog to movie trailers. That would be too much work, though, and I have Netflix shows to binge-watch. Back to super-hero trailers, they even have trailers FOR TRAILERS! Special announcements on late night talk
shows about the first trailer for Movie X coming out this summer…oh wait. Perhaps using an “X” there isn't wise and
quite possibly a copyright infringement.
Let’s go with “Movie Z.” Can we
start this paragraph again around the line: “Back to super-hero trailers?” Okay, people.
Quiet on the set.
Back to super-hero trailers, they even have trailers FOR
TRAILERS! Special announcements on late
night talk shows about the first trailer for Movie Z coming out this summer. Really?
An elaborate set-up for the premiere of a … commercial? Does Tide do this when they come out with
their latest detergent like “Spring Forest Meadow Brook Tide?” Does Conan O’Brien devote a couple minutes
from his show to have the lead actress for a feminine hygiene product come out
to introduce her commercial?
By the way, that product is also called “Spring Forest
Meadow Brook.” Insert rim-shot Emoji
here.
Still, with the super-hero movie companies, one trailer just
isn't enough. Neither is two. Neither is three in most cases. Now we have an endless barrage of trailers
that show so many clips of the movie, you wonder if there will be any
surprises left. OR, as I alluded to
before, they set you up to expect something and not include it in the
actual movie and give you self-doubt issues that usually last for minutes,
sometimes many minutes.
Let’s tap the breaks here, movie guys, okay? Tease us with two really good trailers and be
done with it. Feel free to mix up the
first two trailers to make a third but don’t put any new clips in it, cool? I LOVED the first trailer for
Captain America: Winter Soldier but now there has been so many, even the
non-comic fan has probably figured out who the Winter Soldier is by now. Do me a favor and don’t tell your friends,
okay? Let it be a nice surprise for
them.
We just had the first trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy
and despite what you may think about me and my attitude towards trailers that
was a thing of beauty. It introduced all
the characters who are about as unknown as I am, gave some action shots, made
you laugh and left your toe a tappin’ with “Hooked on a Feeling.” A better trailer, I shall never see…well,
until Avengers: Age of Ultron comes out, I’m sure.
As I write this, the Marvel Studios: Revenge of the Marvel
Movies (or whatever it’s called) T.V. special is on now. I’m recording it but wondering if I want to
watch it. I’m sure its chock-full of bits
from the upcoming movies and supposedly one for Age of Ultron. The
temptation to watch this is great within me.
To give into it like prey to someone who…preys ...would be illwise and
unlogical.
Thus here art now doth thy followingth…oh screw this Thor
talk. Here are the rules I’ll try to
follow here on out:
- Always read the latest news and tidbits about a movie up until about a month or so away from the release of the first trailer.
- Watch and enjoy (to the best of your ability) the first trailer.
- Depending on level of awesomeness the first trailer was, watch the second.
- Should there be a third or subsequent trailer, avoid each like an Ang Lee Hulk movie.
- At this point avoid any news articles other than ones that reveal release dates or movie posters.
Ah, those Captain America: Winter Soldier posters. Such good memories…and the movie isn’t even out
yet.
So those are the rules I will try to follow. I’m sure I will fail. I’m only human and even humans watch the
fourth trailer. Wow. The Fourth
Trailer. That in and of itself is an
awesome movie title.
Wonder how many trailers it should have?
